That was a comment by SFP on my last post.
Its sobering to hear words like responsibility and safe. I have been taking a lot of pleasure from our new relationship, and I am aware that there is a shortfall in what I am putting back. s describes it as feeling like I wait for her to stumble before I pay the attention she needs. Being re-active rather than proactive. While I am satisfied and not feeling her need I tend to focus on my other duties as a father, in my work and in other leisure pursuits.
I just wrote other leisure pursuits as if BDSM is a leisure pursuit. I am struggling to accept that it is more than that for s, it is a lifestyle that she yearns for me to embrace as much as her.
I am pulled towards the pleasure, staying aware of her needs, trying to push my own boundaries and hers, and doing it all safely and at a pace that sits comfortably with us both.
Hmm. Have I bitten off more than I can chew? I'll just keep putting one foot in front of the other and see where we get to.
D
I'm glad that after thinking about my comment that you weren't upset the way you first were. I think SFP phased it better than I did.
ReplyDeleteSo let me try again if I may. What I was trying to say is that you two should do what works for both of you and not worry about what anybody else does.
But if I can stick my toe in the advice category without getting you upset, it seems that she wants you to do more and you're not sure if you're comfortable with that because of your comment that you don't know if you've bitten off more than you could chew.
But you did administer her first punishment and she seemed to like it. So I just want to say you might try doing more things, setting rules, insist she follow them and giving her more punishments if she doesn't do what she's told. As you said, just keep putting one foot in front of each other and see where it takes you. Yes, I was trying to show the enthusiasm for the lifestyle. If you two can get on the same page, you likely find a lot of joy from it.
And for a good look at the needs of one sub, you might read the lated post from greengirl-whatiwonder.blogspot.com. She explains her needs well and you might talk more with your wife about her needs.
Amyway, I hope I haven't offended you and just want to wish you the best of luck as you continue your journey in this lifestyle.
FD