Thank you to Florida Dom who commented back on my last post. I felt a connection with FD while reading his comment. But one paragraph stuck out at me...
...now I'm not sure what a true Dom is? I have a kind of fuzzy notion of it developing but no text book answer (not that I expect there to be in this crazy world). But my nature is to seek clarity and I would like to do that in the style of FD and pose a question.
What is a true Dom?
That is a good question and I'll try to give my answer although some of this is semantics. If you act like a dom, you're a dom and I checked back in her archives and she said you had a strong personality and you've collared her so I think you qualfiy as a dom.
ReplyDeleteAnd I often say that the only thing that counts is what works for the couple in the relationship.
That said, the reason I said "true dom'' is that you said you were still coming to terms with the idea with the idea or something like that. I never had to come to terms with this. I've known I had these feelings since I was a teen-ager. I just thought I was weird because in those pre-Internet days, I had no idea there were women out there who wanted to be domed. I thought it was some kind of a fantasy in my head.
Anyway, so my idea of a true dom is somebody who doesn't just take or leave it or do it just to please the woman or sub in his life. It's something he's wired to do and he wants to do and he feels good to have the sub in his life submit to his wishes and obey. He loves that sense of control and knowing the sub wants him to be in control and wants him to take charge. And he doesn't slack off and get tired of doing it. He fels it's a part of his DNA. Does that make any sense to you?
But don't feel you have to use my definition. If you dom her, you're a dom and I hope you keep doing it because I think it's good for your relationship because she obviously wants to be domed. And I think the more you push her, the more she will like it.
So I hope I haven't made things more confusing but feel free to ask anything. I'm open to answering any questions you might have.
And I hope you enjoy the dom role and let her know you're in charge and in control. Good luck.
FD
I have been approached in being a female Dom, I have never explored this possibility before, however, after his explanation of the relationship, it feels right and exciting to me. But I need more information, not only on being a Dom, but how to be responsible to and for a Sub?
DeleteSir D,
ReplyDeleteI am finally coming to terms with my own nature, although I certainly have a lot to learn about it. I do struggle with whether what I've asked of my husband is simply allowing him to express his true nature, or asking him to assume a persona that isn't really him. I suppose only he can answer that. One thing he has been adamant about though is making his own decisions, not allowing me - or any other outside influence - to push him in a direction he doesn't want to go. It means that, often, our dynamic, or system, or whatever you want to call it, looks very different from anything else. Of course, it also means it is what he wants it to be.