He is obviously a thoughtful guy, intelligent, caring and sensitive too I reckon.
I'm coming to terms with the notion that somebody like this could be into the lifestyle.
And what I'm really doing is coming to terms with my own feelings about the lifestyle.
I hadn't thought about my anger over FD's advice again until just now. Its an interesting thing that as I begin to accept this lifestyle it is old ingrained feelings born of beliefs that I am realising are prejudiced.
I am prejudiced against my own lifestyle choice.
This explains a little about how I feel slightly disconnected from the me that engages in the lifestyle.
Its not like I'm acting, or that its happening to somebody else. Its something else. Like an internal barrier.
I'll get there. I have this unshakeable feeling that I will get there. A self belief that I will overcome any obstacle. Eventually. Overtime. I persevere.
Exposed. Rent asunder. bludgeoned.
I thought those were supposed to be feelings of a sub.
Feelings a sub yearns for.
I do not yearn for these feelings. But I will tolerate them for my love. Does that make me dominant.
Starting to confuse myself. Time to stop.
D
Thanks for the kind comments. I think what you're saying is that you can't imagine normal people doing these things. Yes, we're normal. We just have kinky feelings.'
ReplyDeleteI have to admit that when I started having these dom feelings as a teen-ager in the pre-interent days, I thought I was a little weird and wasn't sure there were women who wanted to be domed.
But just like some guys are wired to be doms, some women are wired to be subs. It goes the other way, too. There are male subs and female doms.
So I hope you can get over the prejudice against your own lifestyle choice. But I was glad to hear that you feel you'll get there.
I'm not sure whether you're a true dom or whether you realize your wife has these needs and you're being a good husband and providing them to her. Either way, if you keep doing it, it will be good for your relationship.
You probably are still coming to terms with this, but from her writings, it's obvious she wants you to take control and tell her what to do so she can obey you and submit to her.
From her last post, it seems that you have started on the journey by setting some rules. And that was a good job of denying her and then giving her orgasms at the end. It builds up her anticipation.
And remember, it's her role to meet your needs. If there's something you want her to do, tell her.
So I hope you continue on the journey and keep setting rules and making sure she follows them and I think the result is that you will have a happy, contented sub.
Again, I hope you don't mind all my advice. It's well meaning to help you understand this lifestyle.
FD
"I am prejudiced against my own lifestyle choice."
ReplyDeleteI don't really have much advice, but I thought I would mention that I think that feeling this way is pretty common... I've sure seen and heard a lot of people express similar sentiments. I've felt the same way. I think it can take a while to overcome those feelings, especially if you've spent your entire life thinking that the things you are doing now are "wrong" or "immoral." :)