sexually repressed

I am so not relaxed with her at the moment and vice versa. In fact I know that I have difficulty relaxing most of the time. There is an element of it that is tiredness but there is also an element of it that I find it hard to switch on and off between my sexual persona and my non sexual persona, which is aggravated by the fact that so often we will have to be busy into the late evening and can be disturbed by our children. I am distracted by my other hobbies at the moment but s is working so hard as well it is hardly a one way thing.

In reality I don’t slob around feeling sexy very often and am much more likely to want to fuck and clean up than revel in it, which I know is more sophies style. Part of that is the tirednedss thing like I said but also it is a prudishness or at least a disinterest in that state which seems to serve no purpose for me except to make me feel sleepy and lazy two states that I have to fight off at the best of times. Perhaps that is the value of that time in that it is needed rest and I should be pushing that point more often for both of our healths. Sometimes it seems that the more I try to give us rest the less rested we both feel and it is a weird paradym I cannot get my head round.

I am starting to think more strongly about our sexual link but I am not acting on that and I am not making the changes our relationship needs. Yes there have been problems and yes there are issues but essentially they have frightened me off doing anything about them not pushed me to resolve them. Is it because there is an underlying feeling that what we are doing is wrong in some way, that society does not sanction it and therefore we shouldn’t be revelling in it and only doing it behind closed doors with our eyes closed.