He is obviously a thoughtful guy, intelligent, caring and sensitive too I reckon.
I'm coming to terms with the notion that somebody like this could be into the lifestyle.
And what I'm really doing is coming to terms with my own feelings about the lifestyle.
I hadn't thought about my anger over FD's advice again until just now. Its an interesting thing that as I begin to accept this lifestyle it is old ingrained feelings born of beliefs that I am realising are prejudiced.
I am prejudiced against my own lifestyle choice.
This explains a little about how I feel slightly disconnected from the me that engages in the lifestyle.
Its not like I'm acting, or that its happening to somebody else. Its something else. Like an internal barrier.
I'll get there. I have this unshakeable feeling that I will get there. A self belief that I will overcome any obstacle. Eventually. Overtime. I persevere.
Exposed. Rent asunder. bludgeoned.
I thought those were supposed to be feelings of a sub.
Feelings a sub yearns for.
I do not yearn for these feelings. But I will tolerate them for my love. Does that make me dominant.
Starting to confuse myself. Time to stop.
D
